My Grandmother 
(A Eulogy)

Grandmommy.  That’s what she wanted us to call her.  A unique name for the unique person she was.  The world knew my grandmother as Mrs.  Whitener though she was born Cottie Effie Cooke, on April 28, 1913, in Morganton, N.C.  One of 9 children, growing up on a farm, she endured the rigors of farm life until she graduated from high school.  At that time, she moved to the city to work in the hosiery mill before her marriage at age 23. 

She met her husband-to-be on a blind date.  An old girlfriend of Clyde Sr. introduced them.  Granddaddy thought he was taking the girlfriend out, but she was no longer interested and pawned him off on Grandmommy.  It didn’t take long for interest to spark and Grandmommy insisted if he wanted to court her that he come with her to church.  It was there about 6 months later that he placed his faith in God and none too soon because Grandmommy was about to tell him goodbye.  But that night changed everything and not long after, they were married. 

In 1941, she and her husband and 2 small children, Judie and Clyde Jr., moved to Essex, MD where my grandfather accepted a job at the Glen L. Martin Company building airplanes.  There she attended the Church of God in Essex where she taught Sunday school, led the children’s choir, and sang. 

During the war, she kept boarders to make extra money – up to 12 at one time – shuffling them into bed or off to work in shifts.  Many times someone would roll into the same bed someone else had just rolled out of.  Yet despite of all that, she was not too busy to sew.  Clothes, wedding dresses, alterations for a shop in town; many nights her children would go to sleep listening to the hum of her sewing machine.  She was an industrious woman, one who knew how to make a dollar stretch.

In 1967, another move occurred, this time to Ellicott City where she and her husband pioneered a church in their home.  She never seemed to mind giving up a portion of her house for the little chapel, nor the people who gathered in and out each week.  The Lord was her focus and anything she could do for Him was fine with her.  She continued to teach Sunday school until 2001 when she began attending the Church of God at North Point.   

She lived alone after my grandfather’s passing until a year and a half ago when she fell and broke her hip.  Only then did she move in with her son and wife so they could care for her in the last months of her life. 

Most people will remember her as Cottie Whitener, but she will always be Grandmommy to me!  The one who sewed clothes for me when I was young on her old black Singer machine.  The one with the green thumb- able to get just about anything to grow  - cactus and a host of other plants which I cannot name lined the bay window in her living room. I remember her garden with the fence to keep the rabbits out and her big straw hat she wore when she worked in it.  The fresh mint and parsley that she grew, and the yucky collard greens we had to eat.  Then there were her rose bushes out front that she tended faithfully.  Spending the night at Grandmommy’s was a treat, sleeping in the yellow room on the high brown bed, waking up to the smell of sausage cooking.  And did I mention Thanksgiving at her house with turkey, pumpkin pie, creamed slaw and her special cranberry relish; playing Canasta in the family room with my sisters and cousins and trying to stay out of the way? 

Grandmommy loved music and played the piano until her fingers were too stiff to do so anymore.  She taught Judie how to play as well and when she exhausted all her knowledge, she insisted that my aunt go on to school and study music.  Her love for music has been showered down through the family, affecting each one of her grandchildren. 

She was an independent, self-sufficient, spirited woman who was not deterred by difficulty.  She simply did what had to be done in a given situation, such as making her own wedding gown the night before her wedding when hers did not arrive by mail order catalog in time; cutting her own grass on a riding mower until she was about 90 years old, raking her leaves for just as long.  When once she fell off the step ladder at age 85, someone scolded her for climbing at her age and said “I guess that will teach you a lesson”.  She replied “No, I just got a new step ladder with handles”.  Persistent and determined, once she got something in her mind it was hard to change her.  

She was my Sunday school teacher, my moral example.  A woman filled with wit, wisdom, and courage.  Proverbs 31sums how I feel about her.  It says Who can find a virtuous women? For her price is far above rubies.  Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.  She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.  She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness.  Her children rise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.  Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.  Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised.  Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. 

My father once prayed that his parents would not pass until all his children were old enough to remember them.  Well, Dad, I think your prayer has been answered.  Not only all your children, but most of your grandchildren as well will remember her.  She has left behind a legacy of good deeds and memories, some of which she didn’t even remember.  I would like to relate one example in the story below: 

One day while looking through some old religious books that my husband had, I found a prayer request published in a bound volume of Sunday school papers……. 

“I am a little girl eleven years of age. I go to Sunday-school nearly every Sunday. I get the Shining Light and enjoy reading it very much. I am saved and want all who read this letter to pray for me that I may always be true to Jesus.” 

Yours in Christ,
Cottie Cooke
January 4, 1925
The Shining Light
“Little Letters” 

Grandmommy, I believe your prayer has been answered.  You have finished your work here and are enjoying the fruit of your labor.  We don’t wish you back, but we will miss you and your memory will live on in our hearts forever.  We commit you now into God’s care until some day when we see you again.

Your granddaughter,

Debbie Rude